I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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