Where is the hickey?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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