you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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