After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
