it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
