Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize