I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
