i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
