Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
