i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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