At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
