You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
