id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
