Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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