Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
