my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize