I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
