Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
