worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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