Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
