what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
