Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jerry, you need to find god
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think your dad took our porno
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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