Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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