I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
