So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
