I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My ass is underappreciated
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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