you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
