Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize