I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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