You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
