Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
