So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
