I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
