It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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