she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
