Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
