I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
