I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
