Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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