if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
