..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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