so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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