WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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