Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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