I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
