Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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