Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
