but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
