We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
