No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
