covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize