once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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