Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize