Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
