Apparently you make a good broom.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize