Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bring me that man meat
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
