Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize