We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We named our party play list daddy issues
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
