the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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