CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
