Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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