just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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