A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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