no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
