omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
