We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
