I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
God, I missed his penis.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
