put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
